I had this incredible blog set to send out to all of you and then the internet crashed. Holy jumpin' tree frogs! I lost everything! All that hard work! What took the better part of the morning only took cyberspace a nano second to make it irrelevant. My pay attention to me moment lost in space!
But that just seems fitting. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I am thinking it was the left over spicy snake soup I had for a snack last night. The bowels of the internet were ripping open and all hell was breaking loose. Millions of images with captions like, you won't believe this!, This is the last blah blah blah... surprise! Little journalistic hooks to get you to click on the image to see the story behind it. So important! Everything was so important I was clicking on everything!
Millions and millions of images were flying by! I was clicking on everyone I knew! Cute kitty pictures turned into war atrocity images. Friends baby posts were changing into wedding, sporting, live feed images. It was a nightmare trying to read all of it. Images were becoming bigger and morphing in to everything! Everything was so important then snap! I woke up. I looked around my room... The quiet of empty white walls. I felt unsafe. I went to turn on my computer. I felt so alone. I needed my cyber fix.
It is the drug. In the beginning it was all new and exciting. Everyone and everything was relevant and interesting. Now, It's become a habit. A need to see and be seen. To have a fleeting moment of everyones time. A moment where I am connected to you! I am Borg! We are Borg! Frighting thought.
More frighting is the thought that perhaps, maybe, we have come to the point where our entire lives now can be packaged into an instagram shot off an iphone and sent to any of the many social networking sites now.
Have we lost the relevance to it all? All being the bigger picture. The one we never really see until it's too damn late.
The bigger question perhaps for me is, has what I am doing with my work become just another blip on the cyber radar? Has the work lost relevance because it's like everything else out there? Has my age finally caught up with me and I need to start acting more responsible. Has the committee (friends, family, etc...) in my head finally convinced me to give this folly up?
My struggle is not the struggles of a young man anymore. It's the realization that the moment may be slipping past me and I wonder, does my work speak to that? Or am I desperately seeking the approval of my Borg family in cyber space just to fill a hole in me where meaning used to be that my work in reality is truly meaningless. Damn! Makes you think ... if even for a nano second.
And I wonder if missing the moment means that I really do get it, and the more meaningless this all becomes the more meaning it takes on... Or not? ... Excuse me I need tea....